All's fair in love and war
by fire dragon 2000
Summary: My longest fic to date. Featuring a tempramental Charizard and a shy Meganium. Another Pokecouple fanfic. Reveiew please.


HELOOO! As you can see, I've been on vacation, but I have some more good stuff in mind. Today is something different. A long story of irritation, anger, adventure, love, and most importantly, Pokemon. This is yet another Poke couple fic. And remember...DOWN WITH THE ANIME! I will say this couple was inspired by a picture on devientart that was made by one of my favorite devients.

**All's fair in love and war**

Ahhh the world of Nintendo. It is serene and peaceful, if you prefer that sort of thing.

But ehhh... there are exeptions.

"AAAARRGGGG!"

That was the sound of a angry and irritated Charizard on the run (or glide). He was running from an Ivysaur who saw him as manbeef made for sexual favors. The Ivysaur, named Ivy, was cheerfully saying things that shall not be written on a fic like this.

Darkrai was in the background, chuckling to himself. He enjoyed watching other people suffer.

The chase went on and on and-OH CRAP WATCH OUT!

Too late.

The Charizard ran into something (or someone) and they both went bouncing down a hill. He eventually recovered and saw what he ran into. It was a Meganium, oviously female. Ivy then jumped him.

"So," she said seductivly."Time to ride that little friend of yours."

That's what sent him into a blind rage, burning everything in sight until looking at Ivy with hate crazed eyes.

"GET-OUT-OF-MY-LIFE!" he roared. Ivy smiled as if they would meet again and walked away.

Darkrai went to him after the fire faded off."Meh don't sweat it," he said with a voice just like Kefka's."A little thing like that isn't going to be the end of you. You are such a dangerous creature. The angrier you get, the more your powers go out of control. Destruction incarnate!"

With that, our hero flew away, infuriated even further by the insane destruction crazed legendary.

_Later..._

"Must...write...in...journal."

The charizard went to his desk and picked up his pencil to write about how crappy the day was when he heard a knocking. Thinking it was Ivy, he stormed toward the door.

"WHAT DO YOU WA-" his yelling came to a sudden end when he realized who he was screaming at. It was the same Meganium from earlier today, looking quite frightened. He took a step back, sweat pouring down."Err sorry, I thought it was someone else."

"I just came here to complain about that little incident back at the fields back there." she insisted.

He looked down."It's a long story. You see when I was a Charamander I had everything. Looks, brains, dedication, you name it. Then a Bulbasaur walked into my life and turned it upside down. From the begining she wanted me because for some reason she was some kind of sex crazed maneater. From that day on she chased me like Amy does Sonic. I tried pounding her, but she dosn't know when to quit."

After the long explanation, she understood."Oh, well I guess that makes sence. I'll just leave."

"WAIT!"

She turned her head to listen.

"I'm Leopold, you?"

"Melissa." and with that she left.

"Man," Leopold said after closing the door."I AM out of her league."

_The next day..._

Leopold woke up only to hear a knocking noise again. he opened the door, but saw nothing.

"Hey, down here!"

Leopold looked down and saw a Treeko with a cardboard box in it's hands.

"It's for you." he said.

"A security camera. How'd you even know I needed this?"

"Oh about that. Well first of all my name's Trevor and mom told me all about it, and yes, I'm adopted. Nothing to say there."

"Oh, well, thanks!" and with that Leopold installed the camera to the door.

But 2 hours later, he saw Ivy in front of him with a big smile on her face.

"How did you...!" Leopold insisted.

"I did a strip tease in front of the security camera."

Leopold narrowed his eyes... and threw Ivy out the window. With that, he smiled as he turned on the radio, hoping to hear a hillarius news flash about Lugia trying (and constantly failing) to woo Ho-oh.

"BZZ BZZZ! and now another episode of... YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY FROM ME!" Ivy jumped out of the radio and onto a shocked Leopold.

_The next day..._

Melissa was walking through the fields when she saw something on a bench in the sat leopold, plucking leaf like needles from yesterday on his face.

"Melissa," he stated."You have a smart kid, just tell him that he should next time get a maneater- proof cam."

"I think I know something that should get Ivy off your mind" Melissa said.

"Really, what?"

_Later..._

"Auuggh, I hate this overgrown jungle." Leopold groaned as the 2 walked through the place to a totem god.

"How could you say that? This place is wonderful. The scenery, the wildlife, the totem gods. Me and Trevor agree that the best things here are the totem gods. The vivid colors, the striking detail, ya know, it's almost as if they're alive!"

"Tell me you didn't mean that."

The stone statue's eyes began to glow, it's mouth twitched, and soon, standing before the duo was a giant totem god ready to fight!

"Well, improvise!" Leopold shouted as the totem smashed his fists on them.

"Hey, don't blame this on me! I don't know any effective moves yet."

The totem grabed leopold and began to pound him.

"Why-POUND-isn't-POUND-anyone-POUND-stopping-POUND-this?"

Before it could bring the final blow, it suddenly dropped dead.

"What?" Melissa said."There was a giant button on it's back.'

"What's it say?" Leopold asked.

"Detonation."

"Crap. How long till the explosion."

"1:45."

"Oh that's go-WAIT! THAT'S DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME! SHI-"

KABOOM!

Leopold and Melissa went skyrockiding into the air and onto a snow covered slope with Melissa on top of the ladder. Soon it wasn't long before they were sliding down the slope, avoiding kamakaze Piplups and mines.

"Get them off of me! Shoo! Shoo!" Leopold screamed as they went though a conviently placed chicken coop.

It wasn't long before they began tumbling into a snowball.

"Please tell me we're not making out!" leopold screamed. It seemed to Melissa that he yelled a lot.

CRASH!

The duo's little ice-capade ended when they ran into a house.

"Never-again." Leopold said with his face buried in the snow.

"Oh, well I guess, see you tomorrow." Melissa said.

_Later that evening..._

Melissa was pondering over the earlier events. She knew that Leopold's life was miserable because of Ivy, and maybe even her. So she decided to go to the person she knew could handle such a scenario.

"HALLOO!" a large penguin greeted Melissa at the door. It was king Dedede. The self proclaimed "Love guru" of Nintendo."So, what's cookin'"

Melissa groaned, but spoke."Well, there's this-"

"Oh yeah, I heard the whole story. A Charizard and a Meganium defeat a totem god and go tumbling down a-WAIT! Are you, ya know?"

"I'm not really sure."

"Come with me. Time to spice up a little destiny for you.'

_Later (these transitions are generic, get used to it)..._

"Dedede, why lingerie?"

"C'mon. Boys dig that s**t"

The two went near Leopolds home."What if he's asleep?"

"Then coax him in his sleep." Dedede said with a long grin.

"YOU are evil."

Melissa went in... and found nobody.

"This is perfect!" Dedede said.

"What? How?"

"Wait seductively on his bed."

"But-"

"You wanted my help. You get it."

Melissa did as she was told and waited as Dedede went into a bush.

Leopold on the other hand had just escaped a harrowing chase with Ivy. He opened the door, and his eyes went wide.

"Melissa?"

"Yes Leopold?" Melissa said sheepishly.

"What in Arceus's name are you wearing?"

"It's... lingerie."

"Why?"

"Well I wanted you to get Ivy off your mind and I think I...may be... falling in... love."

Leopold thought for a bit as he went to sit on the bed."Maybe I was wrong. Just because Ivy exists, dosn't mean the world can't stop spinning."

"Oh, well, if there isn't any problem,I would like.. to kiss you." she began to lean near him.

**NOTE: THE FOLLOWING I CANNOT SHOW BECAUSE IT INVOLVES FRENCH KISSING AND TWO LOVERS SLEEPING IN THE SAME BED. IF YOU WANTED TO SEE THE FOLLOWING THEN WRITE IT YOURSELF. SERIOUSLY.**

_three years later..._

Leopold and Melissa have been dating for quite some time. Ivy on the other hand was inraged when she learned of this, and vowed to put an end to it, but to no avail. Today however was going to be big. Leopold went to Melissa with a small box and popped the question.

"Melissa, will you marry me?"

Melissa burst with happiness as she buried her head in Leopold's neck."YES! YES! A THOUSAND TIMES YES! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TOO!"

Suddenly, the a small black circle formed between them, and out sprung a tall, demonic looking dark figure that looked like a man made of shadow with long gnarled fingers, blue flame like eyes, four very small horns, and no mouth. It was the Punisher, inforcer of fate and Master Hands will.

"I have happened to recall the mentioning of a wedding day." he said with a dark somewhat Uka Uka like voice ( the Twinsanity version), for he always spoke formerly.

Leopold sighed."Let me guess, we're gonna break one of the 'Sacred vows'" he said.

"Actually, I have anticipated this very moment. I must congraluate you for allowing destiny to take its course. I shall be your wedding priest."

_The next day..._

During the wedding, everyone was there (or at least, everyone that mattered, including Arceus, the godess of all pokemon).Leopold was wearing a tuxedo as black goo slithered from the door to the front, where it reformed as the Punisher himself. Melissa eventually arrived and the two stood by eachothers side as the Punisher began.

"Laties and gentalmen, we are gathered to witness the wedding of Leopold and Melissa. If anyone has any objection to why these two are to be wed, speak now or hold your peace for now."

There was silence, whom the Punisher broke.

"Very well then, let us begin. You are now to face eachother and hold hands." the bride and groom did as they were told."Leopold, will you take this woman, whose hands you hold, as your wedded wife? Will you live with her in a state of pure matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, through good times and bad times? In sickness and heath, honor her at all times, and be faithful to her?"

"I do." Leopold said.

"And Melissa, will you take this man, whose hands you hold, as your wedded husband? Will you live with him in a state of pure matrimony? Will you love him, comfort him, through good times and bad times? In sickness and health, honor him at all times, and be faithful to him?"

"I do." Melissa said.

Soon, Trevor brought out the rings. The two then placed their rings on eachother's finger (this was quite difficult, considering Melissa is a quadriped).

The Punisher spoke again."In much as you, Leopold and Melissa, have consented eachother in the union of matrimony and have pledged eachothers faith to one another, now by the power vested by me, I may pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

And with that Leopold kneeled near Melissa and their lips puckered up. It was the most passionate kiss of their lives. Everyone cheered with joy as the newlyweds walked away.

**The end**

**note: thanks for reading and I hope you make reviews and fanart**.


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